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Zoleka Fuyana




I

To be admired by you, I would have to kill myself

Bury my flesh in the soil and hope flowers bloom

Hope something can be salvaged from the mess I am

To be loved by you, I would have to take a knife

Slit my own throat so that I would not utter a word

Take the needle and thread and sew my own mouth

You love your women the way you love your steak

Slabs, skinned, slaughtered and served on a plate

Breaks my bones, attach them to strings so you can play puppeteer.

Shrink myself, snap my spine in half

So I do not threaten you

A shell of the woman I once was.

What else shall I do for you, my love?


II

Grandmother

I conjure your spirit tonight

The coffin rattles, you arise.

Tonight, the ailments are gone

The tubes no longer caress your body

Filled with youth, you run towards me

I revel in your embrace

Tears cascade down my cheeks

“Ukhalelani, sengifikile.”

Why do you cry, I am here.

You dry the tears from my face

My hand in yours, we run

Free from our realities

Nothing matters in this moment


III

Let us rewind time, my love.

Still young, life has not separated us just yet

That scorching September sun

The days we spent by the river

Those Bulawayo skies

Hues of purple, pale tints of orange

As the sun began its journey back home

Nights we laid in darkness,

My head on your chest, your steady heart beat soothes me

My hands travel across the velvety land that is your body

From the nape of your neck

To the tanned contours of your back

Remember how we made love?

How are bodies molded into each other

Nothing less of a glorious bliss

It is all in the past now

Memories bestowed in our minds

Life cannot take this away from us

Time is immortalized

When September arrives again,

Will you think of me?



 

Zoleka Fuyana (she/her) is a 20-year-old feminist, film-maker and writer from Bulawayo, currently based in Cape Town, South Africa. Through her writing she explores of death, suicide and mental illness. She also writes articles and essays on societal issues that Zimbabwean communities such abuse, tribalism, youth engagement and much more. She won the Intwasa Covid Lockdown Short Story competition in 2021. She is also a member of the Amplifying Girls Voices Through Digital program which strives to raise issues that girls and young women go through in Bulawayo through digital content.

 

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